Stability. The very first thing that I thought was “no, not again.” I got divorced last year, and my entire life was a whirlwind of trying to fix everything financially. I basically had nothing. When they said businesses were shut down I was like “no, you can’t do this, please, not again.” I’ve been very lucky in that I still work because I do e-commerce. Being able to still have an apartment and still pay my bills is huge.
What was most important to you before you had to social distance?
Kind of the same. I’m a pretty consistent person in and out of traumatic situations. I’m actually a little more relaxed about it now, but it was really stressful in the beginning. The things that I miss are the same things that I enjoyed before. I guess it’s two sides of the same coin.
What’s the first thing you’ll do when this is over?
Some of my best friends and I want to go to Target together and shop for things we don’t need. Just walk around together just to be next to each other. Go to brunch. Do a very normal thing we can’t do right now.
I would love to go to Disneyland when it reopens because I grew up there. Knowing that it’s closed is really hard because it’s the place where my entire childhood took place and it’s never been closed before. The idea that it might not open again is really hard because it’s so important to me. It’s such a huge part of so many of my friendships. It was my first job. It’s really weird that it’s not there. There’s just this whole thing tied to Disney–I have two Disney tattoos. I think I would go there if I could do anything. Sit on a bench on main street and say “we’re okay.”
What are you doing to pass the time?
Literally working nonstop. I work even more now because nobody can come to [SlooMoo Institute]. My best friend and I are going to try to go through as many cocktails [from Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist] as we can until the quarantine is over.
What makes you happy right now?
Slime. Not the slime I make, but slime from other people. I make slime every day and that’s my job, and then I come home and play with slime that’s made by other people. But also 90-Day Fiancé is the show that’s keeping me going through this.
What would you tell yourself two months ago with the knowledge you have today?
It’s going to be longer than you think it is, but you’re going to be more stable than you think you are. It sucks more, but you’re more okay. The first couple of days, I was wildly in tears every day. It’s just hard. It’s a lot longer than I thought this was going to last. I thought that it was going to be a month without people [at SlooMoo Institute] and now we’re going on two months, and it could be three months. That’s a long time to wander around an 8,00 square foot space by yourself. I have a very different experience because I’m in this giant space alone every day. It’s just this weird eerie thing.
When you can’t do the easy version of things, you really see where people’s strengths and weaknesses lie. You can tell at work who steps up. You can tell who’s still contacting you. There are certain people who are really close to me who every single day I go “checking in–health and mental health check.” Even internally I see what’s important to me now, based on who I naturally reach out to. I’m not forcing myself to reach out to every single person I’ve ever known. You feel what’s important to you.
