Little victories. The fact that I’m healthy, that my family and most of my friends thus far are healthy. I’m waking up in the morning and giving myself some semblance of a day that is kind to myself and patient with myself and trying to find the joy in those things. I feel like those little things are the things that are keeping me grounded and able to see the long game.
What was most important to you before you had to social distance?
I was winding down my contract on tour with The Band’s Visit. I don’t think I realized what that was doing on my body and my mind. I was constantly traveling. Having to go from traveling all the time to staying put was a huge shift. The priorities of trying to get myself all ready industry-wise to go back to New York and hit the ground running have completely come to a halt. What happens when this is lifted? We will all be very different, and that’s okay.
What’s the first thing you’ll do when this is over?
I want to eat in restaurants and I want to ride the subway. I want to be in a place where I’m surrounded by other people. To know that I can be in a close space–a movie theater, seeing a show–a live experience of community.
What are you doing to pass the time?
A lot of bingeing of TV shows. I’m fostering a dog right now, so she’s really been giving me purpose. Walking her around has been really great and gets me outside. What makes you happy right now?
The dog-definitely the dog! The little things–when I cook dinner and my boyfriend and I get to eat it and he’s like “this is great.” When we’re in the middle of bingeing a TV show and it’s amazing. Finding joy.
What would you tell yourself two months ago with the knowledge you have today?
To acknowledge how lucky and privileged I am and to be grateful for the opportunities that I had been given. To not take for granted the fact that work in our field unfortunately feels somehow like a privilege and that you could lose that without being aware of it coming. To really be more present in my daily work, which was performing. I didn’t know that the last show I did was going to be my last show. To know those things were coming-I think I would have been more present and joyful and in the moment.
I don’t need as much as I thought I needed. My priorities are based off of a concept that the world has told me should be my priorities versus the things that make me feel happy or satisfied. A lot of us build these perceptions of what we think our lives should be if we choose a certain path. Life shouldn’t work that way. Hopefully people recognize and acknowledge in themselves that it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be done in many different ways. We can create art and be connecting with people in different ways.